The little things

Sometimes when I can't handle the big things I life I begin to focus maybe a little too intently on the little things that I CAN control. How neatly the couch cushions are fluffed, how even the bed spread is, how clean the car is, how tidy the mulch beds are...it goes on and on. For people who suffer from anxiety, it is very difficult for us to feel like life's big situations are not within our control. So we have this funny way of becoming consumed with things that are in our control and that consumption can rally divert you from what Gods LAN for your day are. There is the difficulty in being a women of faith... I know that I am NOT in any way in control of any situation, whether big or little, but sometimes...ok, a LOT of times, my body takes over and seems to forget what my heart knows. Over the years I have been imposing a tremendous amount of guilt on myself about if I was a better Christian, then I wouldn't have these feelings. If I love God and trust Him as much as I do, then I should feel that He is in control of all the areas of my life. Who am I to think that I am so important that anything I can do is gong to change that plan. So there is the guilt. But you knows what? God knows my heart and knows that I love Him and that I trust Him in my deepest depths...and it's OK if sometimes my battles with this anxiety want to try to tell me otherwise.  I don't need to feel bad that I have these feelings. They are just feelings...what is important is how I choose to let them control me. How I respond to those feelings is in my control, even if the fears are not. So I have a new approach. When I feel myself start to get that send of overwhelm, I think of this verse,

 " Many are the plans in the mind of man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

So I ask myself this.. Am I worrying about this situation because this is the plan that I have for myself right now, or is this part of the plan that God has made for me. It doesn't really matter how even the cushions are on the couch if I have made straightening them become more important than what I rally need to be focused on throughout my day. And I'm not saying that those little thing s don't need to be attended to in the running of our homes..but take care not to let those little things become too important that you miss out on the Lords purpose for your day, not your own.

And one more thing.....if you are suffering with anxiety as well, then don't ever feel like it is your fault. Like you are failing in your faith because you are filled with worry. We are beautifully and wonderfully made in His image and God made you just the way you are.